Monday, 25 October 2010

Morning Weight: 9st 1lbs 8oz (127lbs 8oz)
Loss: 6lb 4oz
Total Loss: 6lbs 8oz

Bum Circumference: 38¾"
Total Bum Loss: ¾"

As you can imagine, I am overjoyed by the results of today's weigh-in. I can't believe I've managed to lose 6lbs 4oz in two weeks without measuring any food, and without eliminating anything from my diet. I have listened to the 25 minute hypnosis session every night for a fortnight, and I truly believe this little ritual helps keep the principles of the "rules" clear and present in my mind. 

I have found myself with so much extra time that I used to spend fantasising about what to eat next, and can actually go for hours without even the mirage of a mere crumb entering my mind. By paying much closer attention to my body's signals I have also realised that I am a lot less hungry than I usually imagine, and it takes a LOT less food to fill me up. 

I'm getting so much more enjoyment and pleasure from actually slowing down and tasting my food. I've realised that previously the pleasure I got from eating was the sheer sensation of shoving it all in my mouth and swallowing it all really fast — as if trying to plug a leaking hole — rather than the actual flavours and textures of the food.

The only slightly disappointing thing today is my bum measurement. I was hoping that the sheer change in my eating habits would be all that was needed to miraculously whittle my bottom down by 5½ inches, but sadly it looks like I'm going to have to hit the gym again. I've only managed to get there once since coming back from our holiday, and today received this guilt-inducing email in my inbox...

No guilt and no pressure eh? I think I'll start trying to go at the weekends again as it's getting very dark in the evenings and I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to walking home alone in the winter months. On weekdays I'm going to have a crack at these two beauties and see if they have any effect...

We treated ourselves to 'Just Dance 2' for the Wii on Sunday. I saw an advert for it on Saturday night and just thought it would be a bit of fun before nights out, but having played it on Sunday I got seriously sweaty. I'd say it's a definite no-no for pre-night out drinkies (unless I'm going for the Alice Cooper look) but it may just serve me well as a fun workout mid-week when I can't face the dark and dismal gym after work. 

The Kate Lawler workout was recommended to me by an exercise DVD aficionado at work (believe me, she's tried all of them), so I managed to get it on Amazon for £2.25. I tried it this evening and it seems okay. I think I may try and get another one with an actual fitness instructor rather than a celebrity as surely they must know slightly more about exercise. Also I imagine I'll quickly get bored of doing it every day, but I might alternate it with the dancing (which is a lot more fun). I also have a Pilates DVD hidden away somewhere, so I'll try and mix them all in whenever I have a spare hour in the evening ('Clueless' style) during the winter, and will save running at the gym for the weekends.

I'm feeling pretty sleepy now after my first workout in months so I'll think I'll head off to bed and listen to my daily dose of McKenna magic. I WILL be in that dress by Christmas!

Wednesday, 20 October 2010


I've been ill for the past couple of days so haven't felt like blogging, but have continued listening to the hypnosis each day and have managed to stick to the rules so far. I'm really looking forward to weighing myself on the 25th to see if this is actually working.

It was my sister's birthday on the weekend, which would usually be an excuse for a never ending feast of vegan cupcakes, nachos, dips, curries etc etc. In fact, we did indulge in all of these things (complete with a candle in the cupcake for her to blow out), but thanks to the rules and hypnosis I was able to eat just enough to be satisfied and stop when full. The cupcakes were absolutely delicious and I'm so glad I'm now able to get my vegan sweet fix just around the corner...

I was off work on Monday and yesterday and completely lost my appetite. I still ate a few things here and there, but avoided stuffing myself with my favourite illness comfort food of Smash instant mash with Pure vegan butter and ketchup (it always hits the spot). Instead I had some bruschetta and then a takeaway veggie burger, chips and onion rings. I left half of this but felt slightly better for having eaten something.

Today I went back to work which in hindsight was a terrible idea as I think I've just made myself worse. I went for a walk to the vegan cafe and got some delicious pumpkin and leek soup to warm me up. I think I've been really bad at packing in the fruit and veg lately as this felt really nice and wholesome as I was eating it - as if every cell was feasting on the nutrients.

Tonight I made Thai Red Curry and it was horrible. I made the mistake of using frozen vegetables so it ended up really watery. The worst part was the peas I added. Their flavour was so overwhelming I could only manage a bit of it before gagging at the horrendous combination of pea and Thai spices so I definitely won't be making that mistake again.

I need to remember to take pictures of everything too. My blog's looking very bare and drab with no badly taken, badly lit pictures of my slovenly presented wierd food combinations to brighten it up. I'll try and rectify this starting tomorrow. Til then...

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Feeling Better Already

Today is my second day of following the Paul McKenna system. I listened to the hypnosis session before work this morning and have managed to stick to the 'rules' so far. Eating slowly is a real eye-opener to how much I must usually over eat, and how ridiculously fast I can make a meal disappear (only for it to reappear on my arse days later).

For breakfast I had one round of wholemeal toast with Pure and Marmite. I ate this so slowly that by the time I'd got through two thirds of it I was starting to feel satisfied and stopped. By 11:30am my tummy was starting to rumble so I s-l-o-w-l-y ate an oatcake, and then another one at 12:30am when my tummy was rumbling again.

I nipped off to M&S at lunchtime to stock up on lunches for the week. I got my favourite Rice, Lentil & Aubergine Salad, the Super Wholefood Salad and a couple of soups - Butternut Squash and Greens. There were some very tasty sounding soups in there but it was really hard to find ones that were vegan as they'd wedged cow milk into everything. I got back to work and left about a quarter of the Super Wholefood Salad. Usually I can wolf this down in five minutes so this was quite a revelation for me. I was hungry again by 4:45pm, and as I had to go into town straight after work I had another oatcake.

For dinner I had one of my Red Thai Curries that I'd frozen as leftovers a while ago and some Straight-to-Wok noodles, simply because they're fast and I was hungry. Once more I took over half an hour eating this and found I was satisfied two-thirds of the way through. This is another meal I usually wolf down in seconds as it's one of my favourites. The best thing about this system so far is that I haven't had a stomach ache for two days. Usually my poor digestive system is struggling under a barrage of constant bulk and fat, or moaning at the fact that it's starving.

So the verdict today is so far, so good. I think I am really going to need to constantly reinforce the rules in my mind each and every day, but hopefully this is where the hypnosis kicks in and helps to make it easier. I think I am going to stick to listening to it in the mornings before work as my boyfriend keeps laughing at me and elbowing me when I'm trying to disappear into a trance last thing at night.

Well, here's to another day of eating consciously tomorrow...

Monday, 11 October 2010

...And Start Again

Morning weight: 9st 7lbs 12oz (133lbs 12oz)
Gain: 3lb 
Total loss: 4oz

Ugh! Well, that was a pretty unsuccessful week. It started with the "Reel Deal" at the Cornerhouse on Monday when we went to see "Enter the Void". The film was good - very original and visually stunning, but definitely made by a man. I have never seen so many different genitals in such a short space of time. The film was also 2hrs 40mins long, so by the time it had finished we were starving. We went back to the bar to get our deal which was a pizza and a beer or wine, plus our tickets for £12. Stupidly I got a pint of beer and some wine, and we also got a portion of chips between us. I completely demolished the pizza, and the plate was spotless by the time I was through. I left the restaurant feeling stupidly full and slightly too tipsy for a Monday night.

I think this Monday "binge" set the tone for the rest of the week, and by Friday I was indulging in a massive curry as we had friends round and I was too lazy to cook. I easily devoured massive portions of Aubergine Bhajee, Pilau Rice, Garlic Chapati and Poppadoms. I also drank a bottle of wine which left my stomach in turmoil for the whole weekend. I had to take several naps during Saturday and Sunday as my organs were in so much pain. I didn't make it to the gym as I was feeling so ropey, so all in all it was a complete disaster. The whole week left me feeling really depressed and disappointed at my complete lack of willpower, and slightly disgusted by what I'd managed to consume.

I started thinking about why I always seem to sabotage myself whenever I've had a bit of success with a diet, and I think the answer lies in the word "diet". I'm sure I must subconsciously be thinking of all the feelings typically associated with diets - deprivation, hunger, being "good", and it gets to a point where I want to do the complete opposite, and when I do, I do it in style.

On Sunday evening I was rooting through a cupboard and came across the Paul McKenna book, "I Can Make You Thin". I'd only really flicked through it before, but I thought as everything else was failing I might as well give it a try. I read half of it last night and it seemed to make a lot of sense. It involves giving up the concept of a "diet" forever, and instead following four main elements:
  1. Eat when you're hungry.
  2. Eat only what you want, never what you think you 'should'.
  3. Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful.
  4. Stop when you even think you're full.
The book also has a hypnosis CD which I'm meant to listen to at least once a day for two weeks. I am also not allowed to weigh myself for two weeks which will be a hard habit to break as I usually do this at least once a day. I'm going to try and put the principles into practice and will update over the next couple of weeks with how I'm finding it. I'm actually really looking forward to my fortnightly weigh-in on the 25th October and really hoping that I will actually reconnect with how my body feels, rather than relying on how many calories a computer tells me I should be taking in.

My sister and her boyfriend are visiting next weekend for her birthday, and as a fellow vegan we usually indulge in a lot of our favourite foods whenever we get together. I'm looking forward to putting the elements into practice whilst out for her birthday dinner, and during our usual nachos and guacamole session. The testimonials in the book are all very encouraging, so I just hope I can trust in the system and that it will work for me...

    Sunday, 3 October 2010

    A Quick One Before Bed

    Morning weight: 9st 4lbs 12oz (130lbs 12oz)
    Loss: 1lb
    Total loss: 3lbs 4oz

    So pleased with another pound coming off! I stayed well within my calories today...

    ...a whole 3 remaining - I may just go nuts and have a black coffee with no sugar.

    I'd actually learned from yesterday's calorie overspend in the morning (at long last!), and instead today had one piece of toast with Pure spread and Marmite for breakfast with a coffee and sugar. For lunch I had one piece of toast with half an avocado, and was actually quite satisfied until 4:45pm when my tummy started rumbling and it was time to start cooking dinner. I made a delicious Red Thai Curry using Tesco's own brand Red Thai Paste (which is one of the few that are vegan, and doesn't have any fish juice in it), some Amoy Coconut Milk (I wanted the 'light' version but the stupid, city-centre supermarkets are very limited on choice), and a selection of random vegetables that were in the fridge. I made enough for three meals and was so excited about eating it I forgot to take a photograph, so instead here's a rather unappetising photo of the two leftover meals before they went in the freezer...

    ..they look pretty grim from this angle, but trust me they were delicious. It only took 25 minutes to cook, and came in at a not-too-shabby 354 calories (not including the brown rice). 

    I had enough calories left over for a glass of Alpro Light and Strawberry Nesquik, which was surprisingly dessert like in it's creaminess, and the other half of the avocado from earlier. I ate it with a teaspoon in its skin with a little sprinkling of salt and my boyfriend was equal parts impressed, and slightly disgusted by the fact it had its own 'bowl'.

    Better get off to bed now as I'm clocking back in at the fun factory super early tomorrow so I can leave in time to catch "Enter the Void" at The Cornerhouse. I'm really looking forward to a nice pizza as we're booked in for the "Reel Deal" offer - mmm mmm. I just hope the film doesn't give me too much motion sickness to enjoy it.

    Saturday, 2 October 2010


    Morning weight: 9st 5lbs 12oz (131lbs 12oz)
    Loss: 1lb
    Weekly bum measurement: 39.5"

    I'm pretty pleased to announce a 1lb loss today. Usually the weekend is when my incredible weight gaining superpowers kick in and I can literally eat and drink 7lbs worth of bum fat in two days. I then spend the remaining week trying to lose the 7lbs and generally remain in a state of limbo between "chubby" and "a bit chubbier".

    Friday didn't go too badly food-wise after all. I had my usual porridge, peanut butter and sugar for breakfast, then a Marks and Spenser "Super Wholefood" salad for lunch...

    This is so delicious - the mixture of edamame beans and seeds is really tasty and gives the salad a decent amount of protein (which I always find helps keep me fuller for longer).

    After work my friend picked us up and took us straight back to her house where we kicked off the evening with two glasses of white wine, and this is where the calorific trouble began. I had another glass at the pub before the meal, two more glasses with the meal and three at the pub afterwards. Worryingly I didn't even feel very tipsy after all this and woke up this morning with practically no hangover, just a teeny headache. I'm getting a bit worried about my tolerance to alcohol and what state my organs must be in. It's quite disturbing that 8 glasses slipped down so easily, and with such little effect. I'm also gutted that I wasted 928 precious calories on liquid.

    As far as my meal went, I think I made some very good, sensible choices. I had olives for my starter (instead of the usual doughy feast that is garlic and tomato bread), and a Greek pizza with no cheese for my main. Luckily, dessert wasn't even an option as everything originated from the cow boob.

    When I worked it all out this morning I was 654 calories over my goal. Not as terrible as it must have been all those times in the past, before I was counting the calories of meals out, but it could have been a lot better if I'd had less alcohol and chosen a lighter option like a spirit with diet coke.

    Today I had my usual breakfast, then a really chemical flavoured "Moroccan Cous Cous" salad from Tesco's finest range (grim - I wouldn't eat it again). For dinner it was pasta in tomato and olive sauce with a chopped up Linda McCartney sausage, and some fried aubergine on the side. I'm so easily pleased by comforting, salty, stodgy food!

    Again, due to lack of planning, I ended up eating more calories than I would have liked at lunchtime, and this means I am typing this at 10:46pm - 80 calories over my goal and with a very rumbly tummy - whoops. I think from now on I'm going to eat a lower calorie lunch so I have more calories left over for the evening when I tend to feel most hungry. I plan on whipping up some vegetable soups in the week, so hopefully the mixture of lots of veg and water should keep me satisfied for longer. Anyway, here's my Livestrong page for today...

    Not as shameful as yesterday's alcohol tragedy, but still could do a lot better. I do feel that writing about my experiences each day is definitely helping me realise my weaknesses, and when I've tried to lose weight before it is so easy to keep making the same mistakes as I simply didn't take the time to think about how every action was affecting me. Hopefully I'll start to actually act on these things I've learnt, and soon the evidence will show on the scales (and bum).