Thursday 30 September 2010

Mission Eliminate Fat Arse

At the age of 21 I weighed 8½ stone (119 lbs). I felt great at this weight. Clothes fitted me properly, I had loads of energy, and for the first time in my life I felt comfortable in my own skin. At 5'5" and having never weighed over 9½ stone (133 lbs) I have always been in the correct weight range as far as my BMI is concerned, but have always felt a little bit chubby.

I think there are a few reasons for feeling "fat" when I'm technically in the "normal" weight category. The first reason is that the majority of my family are overweight with the a few exceptions including my sister and one aunt who's not a blood relative. Strangely enough the aunt is worryingly underweight and is constantly fracturing bones, which begs the question, what is wrong with my family and their attitudes to food?. I have always been very conscious of my family's tendency to obsess about food, talk about food emotionally, and pile on the pounds with gusto. I have worried that weight gain might be genetic and inevitable. The second reason, for as far back as I can remember, most of the females in my family have been on a diet. The thought of "being fat = being bad" has been pummeled into my consciousness from birth.

Of course now as an adult I know that this is all rubbish. The BMI index is a very unreliable measure for ideal weight and health, for example a top athlete with a lot of muscle mass and low body fat percentage could fall into the "obese" category on the scale, simply because muscle weighs more than fat. I also know that many technically "overweight" people can be healthy, attractive, and most importantly full of self confidence.

I am purely starting this blog because I don't feel comfortable or healthy at my current weight. I recently turned 30 and am the heaviest I have ever been at 9st 8lbs (134 lbs). A lot of my clothes are starting to feel tight, everything wobbles and I have no energy whatsoever. I could happily come in from work at 5pm each day and go straight to sleep (which is often exactly what myself and my boyfriend do). I started thinking back to when I felt at my best weight, and it was during the summer holidays of 2001 when I was 21 and I weighed (a seemingly magical and impossible) 8½ stone.

Having been on various diets since the age of 14 (which I'm sure I'll write about in the future) I decided to start this blog as a way of being accountable to myself. I feel an online diary that is out there in the ether will keep me in check more than simply writing my weight on a piece of paper that I can easily destroy when I've eaten too many cupcakes. I've signed up with Livestrong http://www.livestrong.com/ and have used their Calorie Calculator to work out now many calories I should be taking in each day. I'm 5'5", currently weigh 134lbs and would classify myself as having an activity level of "Lightly Active". In order to lose 1.5 lbs per week I should be taking in 1226 calories per day.


So with 15lbs to lose, that means I could potentially reach my goal in ten weeks: the 8th of December. If manage to do this it will be the first winter in my life where the digits on my scales are actually decreasing - I may tear a hole in the space/time continuum.

I will also be using a beautiful dress that my boyfriend got me last Christmas as a measure of my (fingers crossed) success.


The dress was from Coast and is a size 8, and so far I have only been able to wear it comfortably ONCE in May this year. At the time I had managed to get down to 9 stone 3 lbs (129 lbs) and we were living in  a building with a gym where I was able to do a lot of running. My biggest area is my bum and the tops of my thighs, and at the moment the dress is so tight in this area that when I walk along the entire thing rises up til my knickers are showing. I don't think any one's ready for that look.

So, here is my first weigh in and Livestrong screen grab:


September 29th 2010: 9st 8lbs

I'm very pleased I've stayed within my calorie goal for today (despite my boyfriend's attempts to lure me away from the angelic path with strawberry Nesquik and soya milk). As for exercise, I did get as far as the changing room door at the gym, but there was a big notice taped on it saying the showers are out of order til Friday (and I cannot do a workout without the prospect of a shower at the end of it) so I just walked straight back out again. I sweat A LOT to the extent that I worry I have early onset menopause and that my face looks like a buoy - I am THAT sweaty. I see other girls in the gym with glowing faces and bouncy ponytails and just wonder how they do it? The thought of putting my work clothes back onto my "glistening" stinky body, with every fibre sticking to my aching limbs, my beetroot face poking out of my parka and my fringe plastered to my forehead with it's own "gel" frankly filled me with disgust, so old Mr Gymypoos will have to wait until Saturday (I can't go to the gym on a Friday - it's the most sacred and magical day of the week). I haven't thought of a good workout strategy yet so I guess I can spend the next couple of gym-free days researching that. So that's my first post over and done with - let's hope tomorrow's is as angelic (it's take away Friday I really have to worry about...)

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